Crashes, rats, and spare change

I feel like saying it's been a shit week, but I guess that's not fully representative.

You want the low-down? Well today I was rushing to go and found our resident [wild] rat which refuses to be trapped had eaten through yet another one of my hangbags. And then when I was on the bus to work I realised that I hadn't brought enough money to get home again.

Yesterday coming home I dinged up the front of Em's car because the cars in front all braked and I couldn't stop fast enough.. guess I was too close hey? It could have been much worse, but it'll still cost enough :P. And I just feel dumb and awful. Then I was running late to soccer and forgot my shorts! That was more funny than inconvenient, as Rissole ended up having a pair I could borrow. They were entertainingly baggy.

The day before I was stuck waiting for the bus home for like an age, and it was stinking hot and I was tired so I went over to the servo and got a paddle pop to cheer myself up and pass the time. Then this tall scraggly old dude with pale watery eyes accosted me outside and followed me to the bus stop asking for money, because he 'wants to be a poet and is down on his luck and needs money for food.'I never know whether to trust these people, but I thought 'well a bit of change couldn't hurt I guess even if he does just want it for grog'.
But then I couldn't bring myself to reach into my bag and bring out my wallet. I don't know whether it's a habit from travelling where you never ever pull out your wallet in public.. or the simple fact of being alone at a bus stop with a stranger.. And I couldn't offer to go back to the servo and buy him food because I didn't want to miss the bus when it finally came. So I ended up saying I needed my money for the bus and offering him my paddlepop (which I still hadn't opened but was fast beginning to melt. He got offended and stormed off (thank goodness!) and the bus -at long last- arrived.
But I was left so tangled up - mad at him and mad at myself - should I be scared? should I care? should I have just given him money? How awful. Ugh.

So yeah, that's my week.

But it was also great, now I think about it - I had fun at prac (except for in-between groups when I was stressing about how much there is left to be done!), and hanging with the housies, and having lovely people over, and playing soccer.. So it's far from all bad.

However, speaking of prac, and all that work, I'd best be going!!

Waiting.. and forgetting to hope

Two days ago I had a suprise. Have you ever experienced hoping and waiting and working and getting frustrated and angry and annoyed and nearly giving up but hanging on all the same, and waiting some more.. until you almost give up hope that what you are hoping for will ever come to pass?

I have.

And this time, I think I actually had given up hope, but continued partly out of stubbornness because I believed it was right and partly because I thought it might do some good. It wasn't huge in the broad scheme of things (yes, I am planning to infuriatingly not share what), but it was long, and it makes a difference to me.

And it seems to have come through.
But I hardly believe it, and I hardly dare to start building dreamy castles in air, but there you go.

Hope. May I not give up on it.

ta, God.