A night in the life of a restaurant tout..

A couple of nights ago we discovered a mini-restaurant or stall in the midst of a night market in Nha Trang. It boasted a vast, pretty cheap menu - and all cooked in a kitchen about the size of a small trailer - with at least 7 people squashed in there. What we found most entertaining, however, was the tout - the dude at the front of the restaurant attempting to entice potential customers into the sitting down, eating and paying variety..

So, as a restaurant tout:

You begin the night hopeful, focused, committed to your task, dressed to impress. You smile, nod, beckon, gesture, flourish the menu, guide people in. 

Gradually the first few crops of people come through, the restaurant fills up, you swell with confidence.

The night builds, the dinner peak arrives, people are open and eager and easy to convince. The tables remain filled. You relax a little, maybe sit awhile. Maybe even sneak a bite to eat yourself. 

As the night begins to ebb, you redouble your efforts. 

You march to and fro, spout bits of english, vietnamese, russian.

You wave your menu. You wave it some more.

You dart from side to side of the passing crowds. 

You accost someone's girlfriend, earnestly thrusting the menu beneath her face. When that doesn't work, you grab her boyfriend and gesture and speak even more convincingly (you hope). Your voice rises to fever pitch.

You squawk with offended shock when you are refused, once again.

You twirl your menu,  walking into the thoroughfare with it spinning up on one finger. Perhaps if people are impressed enough they will eat here?

You attach yourself to groups and march backwards to stay with them longer.

You sit down for a moment.

You hold your menu on your head so that people can still see it (surely that'll still work!).

You drop the menu.

You light a cigarette.

You march again, singing, whistling, twirling, smoking, laughing, throwing a smile back to your amused onlookers. 

You repeat the above.

..I'm not sure that this guy was the most effective at his job, but he (and the tasty food) certainly kept us enthused enough to return a second night..  :)

Q: What did the cannibal order for take-away?

In our house we always comment on how the conversation around the dinner table of an evening invariably turns to something mildly or majorly gross.

Bodily functions, more bodily functions, off stuff - squashed stuff - dead stuff... I can't even think what else, but it happens. HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?!

And then last night, I was at a friend's house for dinner and you know what? Grossness invades once again! and hilarity ensues.. (I swear I'm not the common denominator here).

Maybe we actually talk about this sort of stuff all the time, it's just that we only notice it at dinner..

Maybe eating food is actually a kind of gross activity and we're just not aware of it anymore, but it's still subconsciously connected to all the grossness in our memories and sneaks out in our conversation! (ok that's a long shot, I'll grant you that).

Maybe it's just that having everyone around, silly-happy-food-eating spirits bouncing off each other, that happens to be the right ingredients to create unsavoury conversation.

Maybe.
I shall continue to ponder this while dunking my scotch finger and sipping my tea.

And here's a tasty mealtime, from a little while back:

Oh, you want the answer?

 Pizza with everyone on it.

Life as an appendage

So I've been on prac just over 8 weeks now and there's a lot of stories I haven't told.
I should probably begin by explaining the title.


It was about the second week there and I was sitting in a team meeting that had been agonising its way through several hours and they're having this discussion about whether or not students should be able to sit in on peer supervision sessions or not and who should make the call. They end up deciding that it's up to the individual supervisor, because, as one lady so tactfully put it:
"Students are pretty much just appendages of their supervisor anyway" !!!
The whole room cracked up, and I nearly died of awkward, nervous laughter. My supervisor wasn't there.

An appendage - kind of like the extra foot on this frog?

So anyway, here's some of what I've learnt from my life as an appendage:

1. Appendages sit and smile when appropriate. They try to imitate a sofa when it's not. They don't blush when people are talking about their sex life. They don't cry when they get too involved in someone's story. They don't laugh too loudly. When in doubt or when things get awkward, they look at the worker or at the floor. Because they can't interact, they absorb stuff kind of like a sponge, and reflect on it later. Appendages get really good at reflection.

2. Appendages get quite lonely when they are abandoned two days a week because their supervisor only works part time. In this time if they are lucky they might be taken out to go on a visit. If not they will sit in the office trying to keep busy. They will do odd jobs if they are ever given any, improve their understanding through extensive reading, trawl through databases looking for research for their supervisor's project, stare into space, and drink tea. Appendages like tea.

3. Appendages like getting to sit in with the group. They can actually forget a little bit, for a little while, that they are only appendages, and can chat with the mums, encourage them, smile at the bubs. The mums seem to notice there's a person beneath the appendage facade.

4. Appendages, however, do get to meet interesting people and hear interesting stories and find out about interesting things.

5. Appendages also get to eat cake. And chocolate biscuits. Chocolate biscuits make up for a lot.


To be honest, (not that I wasn't earlier), it has actually been a pretty cool placement and I have learnt a lot overall. It's always a privilege to get a little window into people's lives - whether it's other workers, clients, whatever. The service is a mental health one that helps mums with their bubs, and you hear a lot of hard stories and see some tough stuff, but you know what really stands out? That people are people no matter where they've been or what they're going through or the label that's plastered all over their file. And here the staff are really good at seeing that.

Also, less than two weeks till holidays! I will miss the people, and especially I'll wonder how all the clients end up going, but am pretty excited for freedom.

yay :)

Buy Nothing New Month. Day 1: Fail.

There's been an event floating around facebook lately publicising Buy Nothing New Month. A month (October) in which, as you will have already gathered, you're not meant to buy anything new (apart from food, and really really essential things). You can buy secondhand stuff. You can beg borrow barter or steal (maybe not the last), but just not. anything. new.

It's all about "taking October to reassess what we really need, think about where the stuff we buy comes from (finite resources), where it goes (landfill), and what our alternatives are." [http://www.buynothingnew.com.au/]

And I thought - sure, that shouldn't be hard. I don't buy much stuff new anyway. And then a few days later I thought "I really must buy some sunnies before the month starts, because I haven't had a functioning pair for ages.." Wait a second. Maybe I do buy more stuff than I think!

Then today was the confirmation. I nearly forgot October began today, but my dear sister reminded me so I'd have no excuse.
First mistake:
Accompanying my mother on her trip to Spotlight.
Second:
Bringing my wallet.
Third:
Well, I ummed and ahhed and dithered and argued with myself...... and finally cracked.

I attempted to rationalise it, as they're all for stuff for other people.. but it's still a fail.

I have decided to begin the month tomorrow. And I am determined to do better than I did today!! I think it'll be really good just to see how many times I do want to buy things, and be a bit more resourceful in how I react to that.

Wish me luck.

p.s. I also feel this is a good opportunity to take up dumpster diving again :)

Someone's a Sillyhead

So I guess it's time for my confession regarding the stupid/embarrassing thing that happened two days ago. I did promise, didn't I?

Well, this semester we get to go on field placement for Social Work. The way they do it is all the placement options are entered into a database, we put in preferences, they run an algorithm and it tries to find the best match for everyone.

Ok so skip back to the bit where I said 'we put in preferences'. yep. Now fast-forward to Friday evening. I'm talking on the phone to mum at the same time as cutting material for that onesie, people are coming in and out, mum asks excitedly "so did you get to put in your preferences and stuff yet?"

and everything stops. It's 6:30pm. They were meant to be in by 5. And I had utterly and completely forgotten. Damn. I start berating myself over the phone (basically imagine a broken record of 'I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot'). Mum ends up saying "well maybe I should let you go" as I seem to have trouble moving on. I shunt off a grovelly apologetic email to the organising people. OH embarrassment.

I know I'll still get to go on placement. I know I didn't have that much chance of getting one of my preferences anyway as they're probably the ones everyone wants (although now I probably have less :P). The worst bit is the memory of a teacher's remark in class - "email us if you have any issues with it but don't imagine we'll have any sympathy for the idiot who just plain forgets."

hm.

ah well. It's good to be reminded now & then of how dumb I can be. I guess.

(A funny thing I heard later is that in the same moment I was flipping out about forgetting that, Mandie discovered her cake was leaking all over the oven and Skyby found out her violin teacher was leaving. happy times!)

Ok so it may be 1:25am but I haven't gone to bed yet so it's still the same day. right? yeah.

Today I did a really really really dumb and forgetful and embarrassing thing. But I can't tell you about that yet, cos I need a bit more distance. Sorry for the suspense :P.

Instead I'll tell you that today I slept in a bit, woke up all blocked and wheezy - ugh, tidied and washed up, started trying to make a onesie out of a pair of pants I never wear for a friend's party tomorrow, went & had yummy coffee at the Godfrizzle's place, read a book in a tree and was stumbled upon by a couple of random guys (so it's the first time in ages I've been up a tree with a book - and a thermos of tea, no kidding - and I get sprung!!) I'm sure they thought I was a fruit loop but they were very friendly and polite all the same. Maybe they didn't see the thermos. That would have confirmed it.

OH and then tonight (after the phonecall with my mother which made me realise the stupidly stupidly idiotic thing I had done - forgetting that thing, you know..well you don't.. but..) so yeah, tonight, I went to a loungeroom gig at my friend Aidan's place, and the lovely Redhanwen trio played and they were _gorgeous_ and then his friend James Fahy played and he was super! Cool voice and very entertaining. Such a great, cosy, intimate vibe there.

I had to leave early to pop in at another party which was a bit of a pity - but that was a good time of chatting & catching up with people so definitely worth it too.

And now here I am, onesie now half-made (I'll let you know how it turns out!) and I'm off to bed.

Jesus' Mad Tea Party

If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party.

The world says, Mind your own business, and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business.
The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified.
The world says, Drive carefully - the life you save may be your own - and Jesus says, whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
The world says, Law and order, and Jesus says, Love.
The world says, Get, and Jesus says, Give.

In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow him without being a little crazy too is labouring less under the cross than under a delusion. "We are fools for Christ's sake," Paul says, faith says - the faith that ultimately the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, the lunacy of Jesus saner than the grim sanity of the world.

- Frederick Buechner

I think I need to get a little crazier.

Funny and/or incomprehensible journal article titles!

• Long-Wave Sensitivity in Deep-Sea Stomiid Dragonfish with Far-Red Bioluminescence: Evidence for a Dietary Origin of the Chlorophyll-Derived Retinal Photosensitizer of Malacosteus niger

• Modeling Underwater Visual and Filter Feeding by Planktivorous Shearwaters in Unusual Sea Conditions

• Labile Nature of the Visual Recovery Promoted by Reverse Occlusion in Monocularly Deprived Kittens

• Increased Sensitivity after Repeated Stimulation of Residual Spatial Channels in Blindsight

• A Private Ultraviolet Channel in Visual Communication

• Further Evidence That Whorfian Effects Are Stronger in the Right Visual Field than the Left

• Visual Latencies in Cytochrome Oxidase Bands of Macaque Area V2
  

• Visual and Semiochemical Disruption of Host Finding in the Southern Pine Beetle
  

• Perceiving Conductors' Expressive Gestures from Different Visual Perspectives. An Exploratory Continuous Response Study

• Oculoparalytic Illusion: Visual-Field Dependent Spatial Mislocalizations by Humans Partially Paralyzed with Curare

• Visual Performance in Behaving Cats After Prenatal Unilateral Enucleation

*These are all totally legit scientific articles

sometimes I wonder how tightly my head is screwed on

Foolish things I did today:

• Handwrote notes on a page without realising they were already typed - on that very same page!

• Signed the name of the person I was writing a message to.. instead of signing my own name.

• Admitted I sometimes have ants visit my desk.. and hunted for squashed ones to show what they smell like.

• Thought a friend said they had my shoes in their handbag.. and didn't find that statement at all suprising.

• Stayed up writing this list..

That's all I can recall for the time being. I'm sure there will be postscripts!